This leads to me to TJ Holmes, Weekend Anchor on CNN, the biggest news organization in the world. TJ was born and raised in Arkansas and a graduate of University of Arkansas with a bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism. One morning I woke up and there he was. So I googled him and discovered several blogs and fan pages about this fine man. I have fun watching him and his co-anchor Betty, who he recently jokingly accused of having a weave after he visited an Atlanta hair show. What I also love about TJ Holmes is that, when appropriate, he gives his trueand somtimes unpopular opinions on controversial subjects. We all strive for success, but sometimes feel isolated when pursuing it. TJ shares with me how he stays cool under pressure.

Why did you become a journalist?

Growing up, I always had a natural curiosity, and I was always a pretty good writer. However, as I was growing up, it never crossed my mind to put those things to good use as a journalist. When I got to college, I took a mass communications class the first semester of my freshman year and was drawn to the live element broadcast journalism. Coupled with my natural curiosity and writing ability, journalism seemed to suit me.

How long does it take for you to prepare for a show?

Theoretically, I never stop preparing for a newscast. One of the biggest parts of my job is to stay well-read, engaged, and informed about what’s going on in the world. And, that is a continuous process. As far as preparation the day of a newscast, I’ll be at work preparing for several hours before I’m scheduled to be on the air.

Many Americans with diverse backgrounds have trouble socializing in corporate America. What tips can you give professionals on how to deal with company politics?

I suppose I’m naïve. Yes, office politics is real. But, I was raised to be myself. I treat everyone the same, and I talk to everyone the same. I respect the person emptying the trash cans in the newsroom as much as I respect the guy who’s signing my checks. I think that’s a policy that has worked for me my whole life, and I’ve yet to find an company that I’ve worked for that I felt I needed to change for.

It seems that you are comfortable with yourself on-air. Many African-Americans feel uncomfortable being themselves in the workplace? What advice would you give them?

I don’t think anyone should change who they are for the sake of the workplace. But at the same time, people should always keep in mind what’s appropriate in the workplace. I could easily say that being myself is … wearing flip flops, jeans with holes in them, and a t-shirt. But I can’t be that guy at work. It doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It means you know how to present yourself in a professional setting.

Which news stories in 2009 do you feel America will still talk about in 2019?

We will undoubtedly be talking about the first year of the presidency of Barack Obama. We’ll likely also still be talking about the death of Michael Jackson.

Who are some of the African-American journalists you admire?

Byron Pitts of CBS, Bryant Gumbel of HBO, Michael Wilbon of ESPN, Suzanne Malveaux of CNN.

I know as a journalist, you try to stay impartial, but can you describe your feelings when first learned President Obama won the presidential election.

I was in Ebenezer Baptist Church on election night. The night was about more than politics, about more than blue states and red states. We were all witnesses to history. And, I spent the evening in the very church where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. preached. Can’t put that into words.

How do you stay cool under pressure?

I naturally have a calm demeanor. I don’t get too worked up about anything and certainly don’t stress out.

Which books inspire you to succeed?

I read a lot, but I hate that I don’t get to read a lot of books because of my schedule. When I read, I’m reading newspapers and news magazines.

Which books do you enjoy for entertainment?

There’s one book that I keep on my nightstand … “A Testament of Hope: the Essential Speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr.”

Name the Top 10 Songs on your IPOD?

My top 10 list changes just about every week, but as of right now, this might be the top ten:

1. “Make Her Say” by Kid Cudi (feat. Kanye West and Common)
2. “Ego” (Remix) by Beyonce (feat. Kanye West)
3. “It’s Great to Be Here” by Jackson 5
4. “Knock You Down” by Keri Hilson (feat. Ne-yo and Kanye West)
5. “Lion Roar” by Asher Roth (feat. Busta Rhymes)
6. “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay
7. “The Love You Save” by Jackson 5
8. “Just a Friend” by Biz Markie
9. “Love Sex Magic” by Ciara (feat. Justin Timberlake)
10. “Hello” by Eminem

You have great style on-air, how do you choose your ties and suits?

My style is very simple: dark suit, white shirt, and let the tie speak for itself.

Off-air what is your favorite “hanging out” outfit?

Jeans, t-shirt, flip flops. That is my uniform. I shop a lot at American Eagle and Lucky Brand.

What do like to do when you are not working?

I love to cook. I especially like to fire up the grill. Also, I just got a treadmill for my workout room at home not long ago. Loving that. A friend of mine is trying to get me to run a half marathon. Not sure if that’s going to happen. Though my schedule often doesn’t allow, I love being at home. I’m very much a homebody. When I do go out, I like low-key, low maintenance outings: outdoor dining, a baseball game, walking through Virginia Highlands and Vinings, etc.

Many of your fans are women who think you are hot? What are the qualities you look for in a woman?

I already found what I’m looking for.

Finally, can you finally tell the world what T.J. stands for?

It’s kind of a family nickname. That’s all you’re gonna get.

Tell T.J. you loved this interview via Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/tjholmescnn or Twitter at twitter.com/TJholmescnn

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Who is Derek Jeter? I don’t know. He quietly supports anti-domestic violence and education programs. He told me that to be a clutch player you have to, “work extremely hard.” Michael Jordan and Nike honored his work ethic last year, and released another Air Jordan “Jeter Clutch Shoe.”

I didn’t get a chance to know the handsome Jackie Robinson. I do know that he broke baseball’s color barrier, was an active member of the N.A.A.C.P., and a columnist for the NY Post. I’m confident Mr. Robinson would have been proud of Jeter, Jordan, and President Obama. Robinson’s first manager said, “Do you have the courage not to fight” the other ball players if they slam you with racial slurs. He did, and so did Jeter, Jordan, and President Obama. Today, The Jackie Robinson Foundation, supported in part by the aforementioned athletes, sends promising youth who cannot dunk or hit homeruns, but can read the heck out of a book, to college. I imagine that the next African-American, or our first Hispanic president, will emerge from this program.

I wish I knew President Barack Obama. Jeter indicated that he and others watched the presidential election night results “like a sporting event.” This is true because President Obama is a super sexy nerd/amateur athlete and imaginary hubby to me many women. He became the best clutch political player of the 21st century, battling bigots and political bullies to win. President Obama didn’t settle for second place. “I’m not running for Vice-President,” said President Obama.

Americans please follow the lead of these courageous men. Run for first place, jump over your opponents, knock expectations out of the park, and you will win the race.

Join the race by visiting:
Jackierobinson.Org
Whitehouse.Gov
SafeatHome.Org
Jumpman23.Com

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Hayes is the first African-American to be an AD 100 designer. She is the winner of the 2002 Visionary in Design Award from the Design Center of the Americas and the 2002 NAACP Hall of Fame. Hayes is one of the most sought after interior designers in the world. Her ability to creating a space that stirs awe and comfort is unparalleled. Her signature look is fly!

Hayes bright spirit resonates over the phone. Like your favorite Aunt, she tells you like it is with humor and sophistication, and is hip to the sounds of hip-hop. She is an authority on life, and did I mention hilarious. For her, obstacles are bridges to dreams.

Please don’t call Hayes asking her to update your house if you are not ready for a unique experience. She is not a designer from Trading Spaces; Hayes makes homes exquisite at the starting rate of around a half-a-million dollars. A true artist, she is not going to escort you around The Pottery Barn. Hayes sketches her inspirations; and with her husband, make their own custom furniture in their factory for their private label Mikala. “Any one can pick out furniture,” she says with a chuckle, “I create a lifestyle.”

Hayes success stems from determination, a B.A. degree in Art Education from Florida A & M University in 1967, and her design degree from The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale. She opened her own studio storefront across the street from a movie theater in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Hayes would work late into the night as movie goers from the theater would admire her work, and then hire her to style their domiciles. It didn’t matter that she was African-American and they were not; her stellar style set her apart from her peers. Having a mother and aunt that were particular about their homes inspired her to be an interior designer, however “then we didn’t know about certain professions like we do now.” The rise to “Queen of Interior Design” was not easy, there were times when her phone was cut off, or rent was late; but she continued to take risks and to satisfy her clients.

Surprisingly, several of her acquaintances, like many of us, don’t fully understand what an interior designer is supposed to do. People would corner her at parties and ask her to put up their drapes. Hayes is not putting up drapes in the homes of clients like Wesley Snipes and Samuel Jackson. She is creating a theme, a livable look of elegance and flair.

Hayes’s “9 Steps to Beautiful Living: Dream, Design and Decorate Your Home with Style” is for everyone who needs to beautify their home. I asked her is this book good for Ikea addicts like myself?” She laughed, “Yes.” The first step is that you “Get to Know Your Space” first by measuring and taking inventory of details like electrical sockets, number of windows, and assessing light levels. “The Art of Decorative Details: Creative Ways to Design the Home of Your Dreams” is the sequel to “9 Steps to Beautiful Living.”

If you think you don’t need an interior designer, or this book, think again. “I can do my own hair, but I go to the hair salon to get it done right,” laughs Hayes.

Cecil Hayes television show will launch soon. Visit Cecilhayes.Com for more details.

Thank you Mrs. Cecil Hayes, and Ms. Monette Thweatt.

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Secret spurts of violence from behind the front door are the number one killer of pregnant women, and the number one cause of injury to women, according to the Rockland County Family Shelter website. If you are not convinced, call your local police station and ask them how many domestic violence calls they get a night. Women are fighting for their lives everyday. But why do families keep it a secret?

Mrs. Margaret Torre, mother of L.A. Dodger’s manager Joe Torre, kept her abuse a secret. “Everything was a secret” Joe Torre said, his tone shifting from pleasant to serious. The former NY Yankee Manager and his wife Ali founded Margaret’s Place.

Many people don’t want to reveal family secrets. But these secrets do not go away; they are inherited like eye color. This is not just a cause for Joe Torre, it is a mission. Margaret’s place helps children deal with stress of domestic violence. There are several centers in New York City’s public schools and in Westchester, and Union, N.J. A list of centers is on http://www.JoeTorre.Org.

In the serene suburbs, Rockland District Attorney Michael Borningrnio emphasized at the Nyack Library African-American Author Symposium on Domestic Violence and Child Abuse in September that domestic violence can affect anyone. Astonishingly, children as young as 10 had questions on what to do when someone they know is a victim-indicating that children are witnessing violence in the home at an alarming rate. The victim usually keeps it a secret, domestic violence is the biggest crime in America.

Ones initial reaction is to threaten the abuser with violence; this never works. Confronting the abuser just adds fuel to the inferno once the front door is closed. Talk to the victim first.

N.Y. Yankee captain Derek Jeter told me the most important thing he has learned from Joe Torre’s Safe at Home Foundation , “The great thing that you get from Mr. T’s foundation is the awareness; I think a lot of people aren’t aware of this [problem]. There are a lot of people that don’t know where to go, they don’t know what direction they need to be pointed to, and you can learn a lot from it. It’s an unfortunate situation, but its something that we have to deal with, and the more people that are educated, the better off they’ll be.”

“There is a lot of ignorance about domestic violence” David Adams, licensed psychologist and author of “Why Do They Kill: Men Who Murder their intimate partners ( http://www.emergedv.com) explained to me by phone after leading a group session in Massachusetts. Mr. Adams has counseled abusers for over 30 years. “Sometimes families defend the abuser” he says, “thinking the problem is on the other person.” He noted that in certain cases the family defends the abuser, because they are still keeping the abusers’ father violent history a secret.

Mr. Torre reiterates Mr. Jeter’s and Mr. Adams philosophy of awareness. “I think it’s very important to raise the awareness and not have this horrible, horrible problem be locked away. To me the biggest deterrent to domestic violence is education…don’t have these people protected by the cloak of silence. We gear our efforts towards middle school [to] feel free to talk about it understand [they’re] not alone. There was a lot of whispering going on, and I felt that this was about me.”

NBC’s “Law and Order: SVU” Capt. Donald Cragen played by Dan Florek feels the show helps America talk about Domestic Violence. “Law and Order: SVU” often receives letters from help groups and victims after airing a domestic violence episode praising them for portraying this problem.

Forgiving an abuser who has torn apart a family can be difficult, but not impossible. Mr. Torre has been able to forgive, but only after years of suppressing painful memories. “Well, you know, unfortunately my dad died like 36 years ago, and I never really had an opportunity to talk about the issue. I remember it was very uncomfortable for my mom when she knew I went out and had dinner with him. Because I always felt that [this] was my father, I should do this. I knew he had to leave the house, and I knew that there were reasons because he was a bully and he made everybody uncomfortable. I blocked it out for myself. I never really thought about it. And it really wasn’t about 13 years ago that all of a sudden I was able to start connecting the dots. Sure, I wish he was here now. On the other hand, if my mom was still here, I doubt if she would allow me to do this.”

Victims and witnesses are traumatized every day by domestic violence. Don’t close your eyes and ignore the arguing, the thumps, or the bruises, call the police, or even offer a safe haven. If you are a victim or know a victim, talk about it, and report it before it’s too late. Silence about domestic violence can lead to the ultimate silence; death.

Where to get help?
-NYC Domestic Violence Officer- Every Precinct has one.
-How the Police Can Help: Link to NYC Police Department Flier
-Rockland County Family Shelter
-Westchester Violence Abusers
-Visit http://www.emergedv.com for more help.

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In our society, “all we ask is trust.” I joined three years ago while looking for a parking spot before my radio station softball game in Central Park, a big step up from Roosevelt Island which has a whole other secret society, but I digress. I parked and read the sign: No Parking 8:00am–9:30am. Monday & Thurs. Wow. Finally, I didn’t have to trek from the bowels of West End & 61st street where I would run past skid row to Trump Parking after working until 2am at the station, to pay $30 because I missed the 8 hour time frame by 3 seconds.

Sitting for an hour and a half, writing, reading, or sleeping, all in the privacy of my plush Toyota sounded like heaven. Parking for free and walking 10 minutes to my job is a blessing, a short vacation before work. I thought I was so much smarter than those other commuters, I thought it would be easy.

The first month was brutal. What, I’m not the only one who thought of this? Newcomers to parking are not welcome. Pulling up at 9:15am almost got me killed. The veterans didn’t want to let me in, so they spit expletives like rappers. After a short screaming match with a guy twice my size, he backed up, and I passed initiation. But, in this society you learn the hard way: follow the rules or pay to park.

Driving around in circles and circles and circles until you find your clique who will make room for you, will make you curse the city, the cops, and contractors who save spots so they can work on the condo’s of the rich. The Others a.ka. Traffic Cops are evil vultures who sneak up on you while you are sleeping and slap a ticket on your car. And then there are the parking thieves. These chumps wait for you to move out of the way of the sanitation truck a.ka. “The Sweeper”, then pounce into your spot, leaving you stranded. This one guy did this three times, but one day, we all got out of our cars and yelled at that guy so bad he relinquished his stolen spot. “All we ask is trust”.

Doormen are your friends. If they like you they will warn you about the vultures and wave you down when a spot will open up. Queens, N.Y. native Jan, a handsome doorman who wears crisp white shirts and sophisticated embroidered silk vests, looks out for everyone who parks–if you don’t try to block the doorway. When asked about the craziest stuff he witnessed as a doorman, he laughs, “People fight over parking all the time, that’s it, nothing too crazy!”

Mark, a publicist parks reads and listens to Bloomberg radio. Why park on the street when he can afford to park in a garage, unlike me, “I like that fact that I can beat the system,” he smiled. Yes, that’s part of the fun for me too. Veteran parker Nic, a rock record producer happened to be teaching his grandpa, Aubrey from Australia the rules. Visit http://www.nichard.com/client_list.html

Central Park is a whole new world from 8am-9:30pm, like when the toddler was locked in the car and the CP police couldn’t get him out with the slim jim, but the Harlem task force was called in, the kids was free in seconds. Or when the homeless man beat up the homeless woman, and a stocky woman tried to intervene while everyone else with good sense called the cops. The homeless man, did I mention he was on crutches, started chasing the stocky, good hearted, but stupid woman up the street until the cops stopped him. I still see the homeless couple and their dog sleeping together on the steps every morning. Now that’s amore. Ain’t no ni##a like the one she’s got and ain’t no parking spot like that one I got.

To my CP clique: please forgive me. I hope this story doesn’t make it harder for us to find parking.

Next…
Central Park II: Deluxe Apt in the Sky & Blacks used to live in Central Park

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