Features

The Herbert Hollar

Herbert’s Gigs
friday - the freedom party - star64 (64 east 1st b/w 1st + 2nd aves)
#1 LEGENDARY nyc friday night dance party - NOTHING comes close!
classic hiphop/80s/dancehall/classic r&b/disco/classic house/new soul
$6 peach punch - $4 beers - mojitos - 2 bars - cool folks - NO DRAMA
11 to 4 - $5 gals/$7 guys/g.a. = $10 - rsvp: djherbert@earthlink.net

saturday - groove - corner51 (966 second avenue + 51st street)
sexy new saturday night affair at new spot for BIG spenders only!
hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/classics/house/early soul by dj herberticus!
2 for 1 martinis/cosmos - $100 moet white star - $195 grey goose + more
10 to 4 - free for ladies b4 1am on list/guys $15 - djherbert@earthlink.net

Herbert’s Hot Picks
wed(29): happy ending - jah wise/deadly dragon sound - ska/rocksteady/jah soul
wed(29): cielo - kevin hedge/louie vega/guests - house
wed(29): apt - rich medina - afrobeat/soul/funk/old school/neosoul/classic r&b
wed(29): aer - m.o.s./guests - hiphop/80s/rock/reggae/old school
wed(29): home - eli escobar - soul/funk/rock/hiphop/classics/80s
wed(29): duvet - snatch 1/warren g hosts!!! - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
wed(29): happy valley - goldfinger - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s - open bar 10 to 11
wed(29): spirit - don omar/pitbull/tanto metro/nina sky/more - reggaeton!
wed(29): sob’s - eric roberson/guests - live up and coming r&b stars
wed(29): sugar bar - somi live - www.somisunshine.com

thu(30): canal room - dj rekha/live visuals by fictive - bollywood disco!
thu(30): 5 spot/bk - large professor - rap/classic soul/breakbeats/rare grooves
thu(30): triple crown/bk - ali shaheed muhammad (tribe) - “elton john 2 lil’john”
thu(30): sutra - chris logan/reborn/selly/monica - soul/house/old school/brazil
thu(30): madame x - jon oliver - rare groove/deep soul/b side hiphop/GREAT listen
thu(30): lotus - ted the dillinger - hiphop/house
thu(30): duvet - larry tee/live guests - new wave house/freaky mash-ups
thu(30): opus 22 - m.o.s./g brown - classics/90s hiphop
thu(30): morgan’s bar - captain needles of clinton hill - r&b/rap/edible soul
thu(30): sugar bar - live, good backing band - open mic - check it out
thu(30): eugene’s - enuff/camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggaeton
thu(30): quo/vip room - tony touch - hiphop/rock/80s/house
thu(30): lq - rholi rho/rekha/karma/fishswift/miss info hosts - asian radio party
thu(30): afterwork/wish 26 - snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/classics
thu(30): afterwork/negril village - music rocka - soul/funk/hiphop/reggae
fri(31): STAR64 - FREEDOM - NYC’S #1 DANCE PARTY - SEE “GIGS” ABOVE
fri(31): crobar - sasha/digweed - hard house/hiphop
fri(31): sputnik/bk - lumumba/troy-o - reggae/afrobeat/classics/samba
fri(31): the frying pan - nickodemus/mariano - house - turntables on the hudson!
fri(31): roxy - SWV LIVE!!/mr c/dj self/ty boogie - hiphop/r&b/reggae/soul
fri(31): apt - j rocc - beats/breaks/old flavor/new mix madness - turntablists!
fri(31): boudoir (old suite 16/rebar) - guest djs - hiphop/rock/80s/house - trend
fri(31): aspen - life walks in (and herbert’s shut down at the door) - soul!
fri(31): blvd/pink room - dj soul/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/old school
fri(31): ps450 - dj red rokk - hiphop/rock/soul
fri(31): duvet - guest djs - hiphop/rock/80s/house - i found you, tanaka-san!
fri(31): pacha - sven vath - hard house
fri(31): lotus - angola/naomi/michael t/guests - house/hiphop/rock
fri(31): black betty/bk - emskee/monkone - soul/funk/rare grooves/b sides
fri(31): eugene’s - kulcha/fame fortune - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(31): pm - dj m.o.s. - hiphop/80s/rock
fri(31): show - enuff/camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggaeton/80s
fri(31): strata - self/goldfinger/kaos - hiphop/r&b/reggae
fri(31): spirit - guests - hard house
fri(31): supper club - goldfinger/s&s/snatch 1 - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(31): b.e.d. - mighty mi/ted dillinger/kenny summit - hiphop/house/80s/soul
fri(31): sol - dj eleven - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock/old school
fri(31): vesta - snatch one - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
fri(31): afterwork/bliss - dj sweets - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/classics
fri(31): afterwork/lq - jinx paul/lucho/live guests - latin/hiphop/reggae

sat(01): CORNER 51 - DJ HERBERT - SEE “GIGS” ABOVE!!!
sat(01): movida - alex english/dj wool/guests - rock/punk/hiphop/soul
sat(01): hotel qt - take 5 - hiphop/downtempo/soul/electronica - pool!
sat(01): bungalow 8 - dj eli - soul/rock/classics/rap/80s
sat(01): southpaw/bk - eleven/cosmo baker/ayres - soul/funk/rap/80s/reggae - RUB
sat(01): the chocolate bar/bk - guest djs/melvin jackson jr - hiphop/r&b/soul
sat(01): pacha - guests - hard house
sat(01): rock candy - kast one - hiphop/rock/80s
sat(01): star64 - dj van vader - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sat(01): crobar - carl cox - hard house/hiphop
sat(01): underbar - jvc - hiphop/r&b/80s/rock/soul
sat(01): strata - big ben/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/80s/rock
sat(01): apt - qool marv - soulful music across all genres
sat(01): sutra - obah/cato - hiphop/soul/funk/afrobeat/reggae/classics
sat(01): spirit - goldfinger - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classic
sat(01): kush lounge - cato - soul/funk/afrobeat/latin/brasil

sun(02): bkny/bk - guest djs - reggae superstar tributes!
sun(02): langston’s/bk - ruben toro/guests - soulful house - the latin bull!
sun(02): lotus - goldfinger - hiphop/80s/soul
sun(02): pm - ani quinn/guests - hiphop/old school/rock/reggae
sun(02): opus 22 - evil d/mr walt/butta l - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(02): pravda - obah - jazz/funk/rock/soul/latin/afrobeat
sun(02): deep - camillo/guests - hiphop/r&b/reggae/reggaton/latin
sun(02): rock candy - sussone/hot day - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics
sun(02): soho323 - kulcha/commish/mixx - hiphop/r&b/reggae/classics/funk

mon(03): sin sin - obah/qool marv/chris annibell - soul/funk/ill shite/go!
mon(03): apt - prince paul/jazzy jeff/bobbito (rotate) - soul/funk/classics/rap
mon(03): cielo - francois k/guests - deep house/space vibes

tue(04): happy valley - guest djs - 80s/punk/rock/soul - big hullabaloo over dis
tue(04): nublu - small change/kudu/cocoa kracker brown - everything fonky!
tue(04): sapphire lounge - eman/lola - house
tue(04): cain - d nice - rap/rock/80s/house/old school
tue(04): home - cassidy - hiphop/rock/80s/pop stuff
tue(04): union square coffee shop - emskee - b sides/old school/neo soul/soul
tue(04): lotus - big ben - hiphop/rock/80s
tue(04): afterwork/thompson hotel - miss saigon/guests - soul/80s/funk
tue(04): afterwork/soho 323 - snatch one - hiphop/soul/r&b/reggae/classics

Herbert’s Heard
1. “Stuck” — Pevin Everett (Boom boom boom.)
2. “Leela” — Leela James (House remix. Shelter records. Yes.)
3. “Wrong Side of da Tracks” — Artifacts
4. “Play Dis” — Saukrates and Common
5. “On Your Face” — Earth, Wind & Fire (Thanks, Cosi.)

Word To Herbert
Moving right along, people. I got 3 jobs now, ya heard? Real estate, freelance writing, and deejaying. (Now they can’t f*ck with me in Buff Patty anymore when I come in and order porridge. Heheeh.) Of course, music still leads the list, so rest assured you’ll have a place to go dancing–I mean, REALLY dancing, and not bullsh*tting in VIP or holding up the wall or looking at what kind of shoes they wearing–at least 3 times a week. As you can already see, the gigs are starting to pile up. This week, 4 alone, including a holiday party for my man DAN CHERRY, strategic marketing guru. Dan’s the silent type, doesn’t talk much, but he’s a serious power player on the marketing front. Except dude never calls a Herbert, not even to get a drink or nothing! Whatever. It’s okay. My heart will mend.

(He makes me money.)

Speaking of special gigs this week, Kevin Powell hired the FREEDOM team (see the gigs section if you don’t know what Freedom is, and then smack yourself) to play music for his first fundraising event in NYC. It was an initmate little affair, but it was a nice affair, the music we played was smooth and groovey. I could go on and on, but I don’t have much space to keep your attention. Check him out: http://kevinpowell2006.org/

In other news…

I saw these two cats breakdancing in the subway. I know, I know. Y’all seen them too, many times, but these dudes were actually ON the subway. They came into the car and did their thing to C&C Music Factory and it was UNBELIEVABLE. I mean, all the moves while the car is rocking back and forth! One-hand floor plants and all that crazy sh*t for like … 20 SECONDS while the car jostles left and right? What??? And then they did some real crazy sh*t. They joined hands and feet and started rolling down the fu*king subway car in a human wheel, weaving in and out of the poles and it was RETARDED!! I had to give them a few dollars for that act. CRAZY. Even crazier, though, was the fact that NOBODY paid them any mind, save a few active souls. People were just like “whatever.”

So many … “bodies” in the city, you know? Dead people. Borgs. That’s them. I’m sure they’d probably light up when they walk past the American Apparel billboard on Houston and Allen. You see this young lady, prolly no more than 18 at the most, ass up in the air, multicolored tube socks like your little sister used to wear, blowing a freaking bubble gum bubble for crying out loud. It’s pretty darn crazy, and not cause I closet my sexuality, or I’m some Orthodox Jewish Shaker or whatever (I gets my freak freak on, ya heard?), but because … well … do you have to exploit that sh*t to sell product? Their stores are ALWAYS empty, so …what’s next? Just put them naked? Is it OKAY to reach this new low because you call yourslef “underground,” “independent” or “grassroots?”

No. It’s wack. It was wack when Calvin Klein did it. It’s wack when you do it.

Obviously, our society has destroyed the values of sexual relationships. I’m not going to preach, but everyone’s fu*king without rubbers, without thought, without even being of age. We’re turning into a bunch of predators and prey. It’s a whole bunch of fu*king, su*king, and then I’m off to meet my friends at the diner to talk about it over a cheeseburger. Don’t get me wrong: Ain’t nothing bad about getting your sex on, having a one-night stand. I mean, it ain’t the best, but it happens, and it’s not at all that bad, actually. Could be fun. But I think more and more people are doing it, and it’s becoming the norm, and now you got all these kids in foster homes with no responsible parents. And THEN you got these FOOLS now trying to say “if a woman decides to keep a baby, then I shouldn’t have to support it.”

Is America retarded or what? Nobody cares no more. You heard about that new date rape drug? It wasn’t enough that these monsters were using rohypnol, but now they’re mixing in something called progesterex, which basically sterilizes their victim so they can’t get them pregnant! Crazy. Madness. Apparently, the drug has life-long lasting effects, the victim may NEVER have a child. The world is fu*ked up, and it stays that way, as long as we continue to practice the art of shifting blame. Of strategically dodging the pointed finger. I mean, look at our political leaders. They’ve made it seem as if it’s flat-out WRONG to even look for those individuals at fault. BULLSH*T!! We need to start calling out names, people!

Let’s start being a little more responsible, to each other and for our actions!

(Deep breath.) Okay. Now onto something a little funny…

Or not. The Jimmy Kimmel show is SERIOUSLY NOT FUNNY. My wife and I kept it on for like 10 minutes, and joke after joke, nothing. The crowd wasn’t even laughing! It was retarded. And everyone’s always like “Jimmy Kimmel show! Jimmy Kimmel show!” No. Sorry. His jokes were juvenile, stupid, and even when he resorted to poking fun at people (what all bad comics tend to do when they’re not getting laughs), still no hahahahaha. Sorry.

Last, I have a couple Jewish friends that are looking for nice Jewish girls to date. I know, this may seem a little weird. I mean, I’m advertising their sh*t to about 15,000+ people right now, but whatever. Actually, let me be up front. I told my friends that I’d help them, but I want commission. If they get married to nice, Jewish girls, then there’s gonna be some serious money involved. I know my people got lots of loot in the bank (we’ve learned a lesson from the Holocaust), so if two Jewish families come together, I see it as a “merger,” and I want my just propers for being the middle man who made it happen.

If you guys help me, I’ll cut you in.

Peace, love, light, understanding, patience and RESPONSIBILITY,

DJ Herbert

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By DJ Herbert on 3/31/2006[read on] [Make a comment]

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